Well, it was a simple visit to my regular parlour, that prompted my dormant state of mind on a certain topic become an active volcanic eruption.
Now I didn’t bargain for dat coming my way. The parlour going process includes just dealing vth a hell lot of pain during certain procedures being performed on your body, or merrily putting up your feet nd getting pampered. No thought provoking activity is ever expected to happen dere.
So dere I was cringing thru the procedures being performed on me,nd dere she was sulking in the corner. Now as courtesy sake (from now on don’t expect ne courtesies from me,al rite.I learnt my lesson,nd u cnt fool me nw) I asked her if sumthng was wrong. And she needed just dat bit of pushing,nd it all came out. It turned out dat the rosy dreams of a happily ever after were proving to be not dat rosy. She got married 6 months back to a guy of her choice & was realizing every day that this was not exactly what she had in mind. The love was still very much dere,no problems on the guy front either, but what came along vth being married was stuff which was disappointing & disillusionary.
Enter mua,a 26 year old female, body clock ticking away vth every passing day. A hybrid of modern-conservative upbringing tells me that I shud have been married by now, settled down into matrimony for a few years & further few years down the line have had children. That is all this before or just when I turn 30.
Now I’m in no hurry to do all of this. But 26 going on 27 doesn’t leave me vth much choice. Trust me I’m all for the institution of marriage. I always had a fairytale fantasy of my own. Falling in love, finding my prince charming,nd a happily ever after ending . Its the things attached vth being married and the afterlife that’s scaring the hell out of me. Its like the walls are closing in on me.
Life in the new house, when to get up, what all to do, how to do it their way, what to wear, its like a blurr.Its a huge lifestyle change. Almost like unlearning what you have made a habit of all these years. And if the thought itself is so taxing, living it would require nerves of steel. Its doable, everyone does it, but I have always been a free soul. I need freedom of thought & action, once dats in place,I’m like ur friendly puppy dog. Wagging my tail, happiest to see my own people around, fiercely protective & loyal. But bind me down vth restrictions & what u get is a stifled, grumpy daughter in law. To top it all kids in another 2-3 years. That’s like the beginning of another chp of life.
And I just don’t think I’m ready for any of it. I have so much more to do before I don the nappy changing,poop cleaning hat. After marriage & especially after having kids a womans life does a 360 degree turn. The guys life remains almost pretty much the same, but it’s the woman who has to start life in a completely diff way.
This blog is not an entry in a crib competition; it’s actually an account of my inner turmoil & apprehension. Its like I want a time machine & I want to be 21 again. I want few more years to myself before I am ready for such a drastic change in life. I want few more years before i have to play the demure,docile bahu.I want few more years before I’m spotted being bullied by my kiddo..
